Sunday, October 25, 2009

I lied for a lie....

people just tend to get the first impression that lying show dishonestly , lying means unfaithful, lying mean....not good...and there is only bad ...no good at all....is not...seriously is not...i admit i lie...but i lie for a purpose...u r reading this...dun tell me u nvr lied before...only GOd never lies....

but it is somehow makes difficult for one to understand the rationale underlying within...and partly becoz im lazy to explain my own standing..coz i think somehow they will understand it...if they dun...i really cant help it...be it my impression is bad...be it im a bitch...

i beg god to make him understand themselves...coz i do not have the effort to explain everything all over again...coz from today onward...Rachel is tired..tired of all these happening things around ~~~~

Friday, October 16, 2009

I look to you

Hey guys..while im typing this post...guess what...... im listening to whitney houston new song..again..being a sensitive person...i share it with my tears lah....haha....

Lots of stuff in this world is unexplainable ...eventhough u tend to realise what had gone wrong and yet u just cant do anything to help it......

y do god create us to c all these unhappy things around...y.????

Im so sry to those that i have done wrong to them..i know words dont show sincerity but...that the best thing i can do...

Wishing my fren..Eve...happy wedding preparation...wishing my fren Chiu Wan..had a good working...

"I need you, shine on me, I look to you, I look to you"
After all my strength is gone, in you i can strong

I believe i will found him..one day....

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Im grateful today

i am so grateful today, because i finally got my first reference letter from someone that im looking forward to work wif him in the future...Thank you Mr. Perry Tan Teck Meng...u show me there r still kind ppl in this world that willing to help me..THOROUGHLY....

This person..he is my ex-boss...he is the one who ask me to take up this course...he is the one who started my life on..and he is definately one of the most respected person in my life...he sound old right? he is not...he is young and cool...most importantly..he is single and available..hmn...everything is jus too perfect on him as a kind person...

yoday is a meeting after four years..after the day i left his firm..i tot he gonna mad at me..like all other bosses did..but he is not...and he is willing to advise me whenever and wherever i moved on...i appreciate him a lot and in my life....i feel so grateful to have him..

Im not trying to show off here..or what ..is jus that...i want to let you know..if u do good to people...and he will do good to you...foremost...there r still kind ppl in this world that we hoped upon....

i cherish the pain that i had during my employment...it makes me grow so much more than jus an ordinary law student..for those who thinks that im bad....pls dont...cos...i assure u ..u gonna be worst than me in this society...

today...in this legal market...is jus like sales and marketting...if u intend to be a conveyancing lawyers..most firm tend to ignore the bar council rulings...and most lawyers forget how they are suppose to act...

Remember...anyone can become a lawyer and a bare lawyer will not gain respect from people..only those who remember their enthic and origins will...so..which one u want to be....??

Friday, September 11, 2009

Confessions of a shopaholic....


What are you thinking right now? That I am a shopaholic?...Shopping…honestly is must thing to do ..especially for girl…not to say especially …I mean is not an unusual thing to do for girls…but indeed….We are jus being girls that poisoned by the magical elements that laid by those designers…perhaps I may say…they are born with the mind…a kind of mind that …you know…we cant just escape by a further of “two minute looking”….

Let me tell u apart of a true story in my life…I used to have a friend…yea …used to have a friend…a really good friend…who can piled up her bookshelf with all those “adult” stories book..publisher such as “The Little black dress”…you know…those company feature series of book that can fill up the imaginative world of a GIRL/WOMAN..what I want to emphasize here…is the movie version of the book named “Confessions of a shopaholic”

You know… I never touches those “stories book” because my perception of those is…”stories book being stories that would never be important for me…infact …I cant even finish my law book ..which is an essential of my life, what more for them?
Oh yea…back this movie….major ….storied on how the habit of spending affect her life, but from what I have seen and how it implicates me….it makes me thought more than that. It tells how material life affect a live, it tells the consequences of being stubborn and unchanged i.e. “old fashion”…and it tells me what is the consequences if yourself do not dare to face your won problem..even the man you loved would leave you…and of course…..HONESTLY ..makes why he left her…

But that’s not important, I realize that sometimes when you think you know X really well, she is your bestie….best of the bestie…..let me advise you something..you don’t know her that well, because you don’t stay with her, if ever she tell u everything…there must be something left out…never be sure on your perception unless you are 500% more sure than an ordinarily people. Those tiny tiny stuff that she left out in her conversation with you….will be the strike of the quarrel one day…..
I have a question for my old friend…a sensitive question of which trigger a break up between me and my ex boyfriend years ago…she partly stimulate the quarrel between us which lead to the breakup..of which I believe i always wanted an answer whenever I was hanging out with her..Because I felt betrayed…. not until I find the truth…..but I never confront her because my rational tells me is not worth fighting with her for a true that belongs to an unhappy relationship…he is just not the one…this is what makes me keep my patient with her and pro-long it until now..perhaps..i shall say…only recently…..

The relationship broke down…for a small little thing…of which I could not be possibly tolerate….her words hurt me…and hurt me lot….at that point of time…I called myself a fool..of all these while by resisting my own anger on her…for all these while building on a patient mood when dealings with her.. I may be wrong….but I don’t wish to find out the true anymore…because I realize….i don’t need to hold on to myself for someone like her…..even like what happen in this movie, “the girl with the green scarf”… at the end manage to be the bridesmaid for her bestie….i will not regret that I will not have one on my wedding……

I hope she understand what’s right and what’s wrong….and what’s actually deliberately went wrong..

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Life...is like jurisprudence..which will never have the answer...



Great, school start again..and I want to congratulate myself because I am contend with my result…The most important thing is, i met all my old friend, some has gain weight,..some has lost….everybody was struggling in selecting what will be the suitable subject for themselves….Atc gives me a feeling….feel like in the Battlefield…and only the strong survive..which is true but in my batch of lawmates..one would always be the Queen…that our world best record holder..Your majesty..Rebecca Yuvonne..she is jus so cool..and she is a legend..she is like jurisprudence…of a question that never have the answer (mr.Amerjit)….

In the moment of thinking how she did that..and did it over again…I picked my subject…gonna do..European Union Law..so that I get a qualified degree..Company Law, because it is definitely practical…and Conflicts of Law..because it is interesting..Jurisprudence is a must…y it is a must? Again…a question that never have the answer…It is OBVIOUSLY foreseeable…I would not have much time to study…not much time to tok abt relationship…not much time to relax myself….

For all…I made an important decision..i broke up with him….a decision that I told myself I can never regret and can never forget…I strongly believe that this is the best for us....everyone was asking why? Why ? and why?...there is no reason why….the decision jus came up like that…I took into account all sort consideration…and I need him to understand..love is not everything..infact..in my perception…love is not the most fundamentals in my life..for NOW……

Someone must be cursing me by now..telling that…of what I heard about this bitch….i knew she gonna act like that…ahh…for whatever shit that every others told….i couldn’t be able to care….they own their mouth after all..but one thing that makes them sound silly is that…they don’t seem to understand the situation…they r not in a better position to judge someone else…after all…they are not as great as god….i accept what they think abt me….

They are alwsi ppl around…that try their hardcore life on..in messing ppl life up…all around the coll..all around me…I wonder..how can they get so free…in truth….I undertake obligations for myself…I undertake responsibilities…that some other may not even have bother…..my life is not like those rich princess tat can do thing on their own….because…im poor in my life…I cant lose….because I got nothing to lose….

I don’t wan to get attached to anything…because..i am tired…tired for all other bullshit that happen to me before…for whatever they are thinking…jus go ahead..and bitch abt me…but..those who understand ..will understand…try to ask urself…y r u here on earth…what impetus is ur life on? Who do u live for..and what do u live for….Im sure if u can answer these…u will realize…u actually did things that is wasting ur time, effort and money…why not try important things out first and keep the rest for ur spare time…u will feel …fell…….FULL…heart is..FULL…of what u want….

Guess what…until today…im still learning…of what my life suppose to be..and no one can understand me…including…someone who was the closest by my side….

So now…I felt miserable…because..life is jus like a jurisprudence…which will never have the answer…

Monday, July 27, 2009

A lecture by Joel

First of all i would like to tell you that...yes..." i am jobless" throughout the three month break...This is the first time ever during this damn freaking free day i decide to write something abt the thought in my mind....is been a "leech" in my mind sucking all my courage and excitements to do stuff...

Now is really the right time to think about what i actually want in my life....i couldnt answer this question, is more difficult than understanding 3 certainties in Trust....(someone is smilling at this text now) ...yeah you know what i mean ...can u feel it.....

there was one day...a coursemate told me i should go UK to become a Barrister...for around 100K to 150K....literally looking at it money is not a problem but to live better with the same amount of money is difficult and...its gonna be a problem,because that amount of money is simply not enough....but a more practical thinking, there are whole lots of ways to earn it back if you are a barrister...by that time the amount of money you found with your legal privilege, is far more and more and more than now...so should i go or should i stay?

what abt the people around here.....People? who do i have...yeah i did have quite a number of person that i truly cares for.....but i think they will understand that...

This have been my thinking all these while before a lecture by Joel....jus now...after what he had analyse and told me i had made up my mind that going to Uk was a really stupid thing to do for me which comes from a middle range of family....perhaps staying here and continue doing the same thing that i was suppose to do...it may not be a bad thing to do....

Today i was in MPH, i manage to get to read on a book titled " HOW TO SUCCESS for 101 REASONS" i was impressed by the Preface...it quoted " GOD creates man with a purpose and we are born for that purpose"..to be success simply to understand what is our own purpose in life, execute it with perfection...then we are consider as a successful person...is PERFECTION...and only PERFECTION......

I am now ....in the middle of the night...thinking....what is my purpose of my life if i were to take up the words by Joel....plans it with my dreamt-PERFECTION.....

Friday, March 27, 2009

THis is a post above 18SXX, only those who with intellectual mind who understand it....and credit given more to those studying in ATC



Well, you might think the following sound violent, bad, rude, indecent or whatever...
but i will tell you now, i have experience this...this is ABSOLUTELY comfortable for them who fall under this catagory...u jus dun understand the way they act...again n again..testing ur temper...and now i burst...and they atleast deserve the nicely wording to compliment them...
other ppl jus dun get this kind of ADMIRATION...they r jus so lucky to be called....as a B-I-T-C-H...BITCH

Dear Bitch.....

YOu think you are just so great
i think u r JUS a whore
with red red blusher on your face
oh please...go and bang the wall


you think you have sexy back
always wear on the red AX

keep your butt and slip away

ot girl chill ther n u were unaware

you are jus a slip on a lad

no length, no height and of course no ass

Dont yell dont cry if this hit your face

cos you r jus a bitch that ppl not afraid

this is a twinkle twinkle star -user friendly version

Name wif a M-G and A,
People know you wif your bloody face
and ask the mirror on the wall
whose the fairest of your all
Mirror gloss on a dark dark place

think the shit even better on its way


Disclaimer : The above is a sincere fair comment and opinion on those person attitude, and dedicate to all my fren that cant stand such a person in their life..happy singing the adult version of lullaby.......cheers

NB : Practice the bitchology to be a good bitch...BItch......


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Father God, i seriously need you...

This is a prayer message to God,

Dear Father GOD, im R.y.y.s, i m not a christian, i nvr know u but i believe and have faith in you that everything i asked it shall be given n done. I have a friend named Prem, she is a very good fren of mine and she is so poor, but despite her poor n bad financial and family background , she came to KL a lone to fulfill her dream of being a lawyer, may be in her way, not to know how properly to take care in her food and living, she is sick now, very very sick, she is suffering from anemia and muscular dystrophy, from wat i know , this is not a fatal disease but without money n support from ppl around you, it will definately became fatal, further more , she is alone here in Kl and the family didnt know about it, even if they know, they can provide nothing...god pls help her, god pls heal her, pls taking away everything that cause hardship on her, she is a good girl. Pls grant her bright future that she has been working on all these year....

GOd another thing is about my self, is been a tough week this few day, first of all, i drop my new glasses on the road, n my mom car jus went over it.....it did not spoil but it crack a lot but i still keep it because it still can be use......secondly ... i jus realise that since the day i born i still carry my carelessness wif me,...i know it nvr leave me bc today i done something seriously stupid....i accidently fluch my hp into the toilet bowl today.....is gone...i seriously sad...bc i have no xtra $$ to buy a new one...god is been bad days recently, Do u create this? please tell me why r u doin this to me...i seriously dun understand.....pls give me indication in my dream...

I cover my prayer with the precious blood of jesus christ. Thank you God for fulfilling everything and i made my prayer in the name of jesus christ AMEN.....

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Grumbles.....fr stress

Hey guy,

exam coming already...wat ur plan...i have absolutely no plan like before as i begun to start my laziness all over again...can u imagine, my tort law...i jus never attended any classes conducted by Gerald...shit la now have to study by my own...i have absolutely no confidence for this exam...God pls help me in the moment that im helping my self...

is late now...my sgoulder paining n i still could not sleep...i wander around my room...trying to study...but still decided to sit in front here to relax for a while...but i guess after this i would most probably went back to "pigging"...

Have u ever wonder wat r u going to do if u fail ur degree....i did....im not like any other pretty girl out there could get a rich man , get married...and lived happily ever after....well...first of all..not that pretty.....somemore i had no extra money for extra exam fee.....oh well..if i dun get thru this...im gonna......??? i really dun know...

but...i do have the egotism.....i dun wan to work for nth n work for the rest of my life....im stuck.....but anyway...sometime, someone jus need to do somethings...

right right...i made up my mind.....study hard...fellow......let archieve scholarship so that we have extra pocket money to spent....lOL...money is the greatest motivation in the econimic crisis..hehehehheheheheheh

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Im plenteous todAY.....or in a new year of 2009


heyo......im plenteous....today ...just because of my mom.....

i was lazy to wake up today ...on weird feeling that early morning it gonna rain again...when it rain..i get so lazy to move my butt away from my bed...is jus so so nice to sleep n dun need to work like three year ago.....by the way i m aware that my exam is coming soon...n im so stress as well...i jus dun feel like going to school lar~~~~~

my mom woke me up...telling me that she was having stress for my dad..as the economic crisis land over...dad wasnt happy for his job ...and you know?...complaint complain n complaint by the superior...he is stress too n i understand...but i jus dunno wat can i do for him apart of making sure that my study is fine.....

well..ask you something...wat is the best way for a woman to release stress?...is...is....SHOPPING...yes...for such a long tome i did not really shop like a boss...today is the day.....i do not know whether this figure is big for u or not but for me thst i am not working rite now and not being a rich "bitXh"...is definitely a big number for me..of course i dun pay it...but my my mom....still...i feel...pain...pocket pain.......

look at ur left baby.....is wat v bought for the way...let me explain wat is that..........

on the right..is a pair of black leather shoe by moreal...is RM109.90.....
my mom jus cant wear heals cos she cant walk comfortably...this is for herself....she did say v can share...but i jus dun want it......is for her.....(mom im not that old ok.......)..

then the following is my new eye wear...revision coming soon...n i use to sit at the back of my class...n i cant c...i hope this will be a best treat for my self during revision...is a full frame glasses by Giacoma Puccini...
made from japan...quite a new brand ..the sale personnel say...they have Oakley quality...because the side fame is rubber made..is...HELL COMFORTABLE MAN''''...plus i upgraded my glass to a kind of.....kind of.....erm...glass that not free...I pay...for it...normally they give free glass rite for glasses+ frame...but my mum ask to change ...so ....is RM 198 + RM 180...is ...RM 378...yeah....this is it...i wonder did i got cheated...i hope not



well, here comes the most hopeful thing...to cure ..the freckles on my face which i have spent lot of money on it n still not recover...thank to my cheer leading days last time...haih....my mom love me a lot.... cos she really spent for me today....and is hell expensive..this skin care product has existed for more that 30 years....my mum ...when she was young...use to have two patch of freckles on her face n because of them .....freckle no more...yeah ...because of them...and is them....privately from Paris......








is SOTHYS...in 128 Faubourg by Societe Francaise De Cosmetique Sdn Bhd....actually we went to Pavilion..the Seventh Heaven...you been there? let me tell u wat was inside...the Seventh Heaven is more for woman...because...all we want is there...they have Aster, ORigin, Mayfair, New York..and other facial salon and make up the seven of them.....i think it wasnt jus seven right ther...but more importantly...128 Faubourg is ther.....and they sell only sothys product ...also sothy facial treAtment...we tried...im so sorry...photo is not allow inside ther...but i assure you their service is fabolous, awesome, bravo...you know why....because you pay RM 365 for one hour n 15 min.....(well may be is cheap for rich bitch...but we r not..)still....we did enjoy ...both of us....the climax was on the skin care product for my freckle...and this is it......



the browish sunblock was RM 239.00, thats the miracle..to my mum last time...n gratuitously....she wan me to have it...im so touched....mom...i love you.....i even love her more when in the second min the sales personnel introduce to her the Anti Freckle Serum...she took it too...is a double attacktreatment serum on freckle...day n night...for RM 509.00...THIS was the crying part.....but not finish....the essence is the bottle on the bottom there....is the moisture cream...rich in vitaminS...( dun really know what type of vitamins...) ..so that is cheaper...is just RM 329.00........yeah....that abt it...those small small packet thingny is some gifts from them after our HOSTULE purchase...(stingny!!!!...but still better than not).........
so that my day...end it with a happy smile...wif my.."con- oakley glassess"...hehe....oh ya...forgot the total...spent today.....is RM 2294.90.....today is the biggest day in my life....thanks mommy..muakies...

Friday, February 13, 2009

i feel happy


today is a good day...not bc tml is valentine day..(of course im happy )...but because...in work wise....i got some recognition from two of my ex boss/.....i feel a sudden relieve...they wan me to work for them...oh well it definately will embark on my future a lil or more impact...phew~~~today i feel calm..n peace.....i get to know a lot thing,...n wat he really think of me ....im in the midst of thinking the point that he is trying to make...i guess...only he will understand... hey here...have you listen to Beyonce new song? her Ave Maria...is so peaceful...they say it is a marriage song....i love when she sing it....ask us not to miss a thing that around us..especially the ppl....and the time.....try to look at her lyric:

She was lost
In so many different ways
Out in the darkness with no guide
I know the cost of a losing hand Never for the grace of God Oh I,
I found heaven on earth
You were my last, my first And then I hear this voice inside
Ave Maria
I've been alone When I'm surrounded by friends How could the silence be so loud But I still go home knowing that I've got you There's only us when lights go down
You are my heaven on earth
You are my hunger, my thirst I always hear this voice inside Singing Ave Maria Sometimes love can come and pass you by While your busy making plans Suddenly hit you and then you realize It's out of your hands
Baby you got to understand
You are my heaven on earth You are my last, my first And then I hear this voice inside Ave Maria
is better if u listen to it......
(Scream...scream....n scream...) i wan you to know i feel happy today n glad for evething that happen around me...they makes me feel im the cause of everything...is a lousy blog...bbut i will still post it... i love beyonce!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

heyhey...is siang...people who know me well ---will know wat "siang" stand for...

Y now > creating a blog for myslef... Actually im hungry ...late into the nite...and im downloading some stuff...hungry and tired...so have to keep my eye open....blogging never give me a good impression, because i alwis think that it is some sort of a "onlne accessible personal diary" of someone...you r telling things abt yourself bearing the risk that someone may just act like a huge " saxophone", who enjoy blowing other ppl business around the vicinity of the victim...( i learned these terms in my law study)...but i stood... awhile...thinking that life is unfair...yes life never fair...and things around me that jus makes me frustrated...sometimes i jus feel not comfortable with them...weird feeling like telling the people around me that "hey hey...you are not suppose to act in this way") especially when it comes to the political issues in our country, those so called" big shot " think that every citizen in malaysia are stupid, they never study, we r the only one who can figure the best solution for them...this is insane man.....there r lot of potentials inherent in malaysian, as seen that the goverment dun appreciate it, they r all leaked out to some other places.....wake up goverment...listen to wat the ppl actually want from you.....

well back to the thing tat ...yeah....feeling so tempted to propose my thought here, (after all i know no one would even consider it)..Is merely an honest fair comment on things around me , not gona have big impact in the society..because...im no one....so.....

i treat this as a secret relationship with my computer, a way of relieving my self after a whole day of "lawing" lawing" n lawing"....i treat you....as someone that peeking on me...ok...Shuu~~....i wont tel anyone ..keep peeking k...i dun mind..shuuuu....haha...(laugh man !! is a joke...)

there r lots of thing happened.....around me this few day...the most shcoking one was...a good fren of mine..is leaving...to a place...which he will not come back that often ...and his boarding is so sudden...all of us jus do not have the enough time to tell and remind him wat v want him to bear in mind...but i guess...he will understand...

WE encounter strange feeling for his leaving...and i wondered further...what if someone is dying, the feeling is strange as in you know that this particular person going to be not exist anymore...it will evaporate slowly that makes you feel that watever you have r going to do for him...will carries no mean....i know tat this is a life span process..i jus feel weird...because of LOVE brought everyone of us here now...but do v know abt wat is LOVE when we left?...tell me buddy..

im goin to collapse......recharge time.....to be continued~~
 

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