Friday, September 11, 2009

Confessions of a shopaholic....


What are you thinking right now? That I am a shopaholic?...Shopping…honestly is must thing to do ..especially for girl…not to say especially …I mean is not an unusual thing to do for girls…but indeed….We are jus being girls that poisoned by the magical elements that laid by those designers…perhaps I may say…they are born with the mind…a kind of mind that …you know…we cant just escape by a further of “two minute looking”….

Let me tell u apart of a true story in my life…I used to have a friend…yea …used to have a friend…a really good friend…who can piled up her bookshelf with all those “adult” stories book..publisher such as “The Little black dress”…you know…those company feature series of book that can fill up the imaginative world of a GIRL/WOMAN..what I want to emphasize here…is the movie version of the book named “Confessions of a shopaholic”

You know… I never touches those “stories book” because my perception of those is…”stories book being stories that would never be important for me…infact …I cant even finish my law book ..which is an essential of my life, what more for them?
Oh yea…back this movie….major ….storied on how the habit of spending affect her life, but from what I have seen and how it implicates me….it makes me thought more than that. It tells how material life affect a live, it tells the consequences of being stubborn and unchanged i.e. “old fashion”…and it tells me what is the consequences if yourself do not dare to face your won problem..even the man you loved would leave you…and of course…..HONESTLY ..makes why he left her…

But that’s not important, I realize that sometimes when you think you know X really well, she is your bestie….best of the bestie…..let me advise you something..you don’t know her that well, because you don’t stay with her, if ever she tell u everything…there must be something left out…never be sure on your perception unless you are 500% more sure than an ordinarily people. Those tiny tiny stuff that she left out in her conversation with you….will be the strike of the quarrel one day…..
I have a question for my old friend…a sensitive question of which trigger a break up between me and my ex boyfriend years ago…she partly stimulate the quarrel between us which lead to the breakup..of which I believe i always wanted an answer whenever I was hanging out with her..Because I felt betrayed…. not until I find the truth…..but I never confront her because my rational tells me is not worth fighting with her for a true that belongs to an unhappy relationship…he is just not the one…this is what makes me keep my patient with her and pro-long it until now..perhaps..i shall say…only recently…..

The relationship broke down…for a small little thing…of which I could not be possibly tolerate….her words hurt me…and hurt me lot….at that point of time…I called myself a fool..of all these while by resisting my own anger on her…for all these while building on a patient mood when dealings with her.. I may be wrong….but I don’t wish to find out the true anymore…because I realize….i don’t need to hold on to myself for someone like her…..even like what happen in this movie, “the girl with the green scarf”… at the end manage to be the bridesmaid for her bestie….i will not regret that I will not have one on my wedding……

I hope she understand what’s right and what’s wrong….and what’s actually deliberately went wrong..

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Life...is like jurisprudence..which will never have the answer...



Great, school start again..and I want to congratulate myself because I am contend with my result…The most important thing is, i met all my old friend, some has gain weight,..some has lost….everybody was struggling in selecting what will be the suitable subject for themselves….Atc gives me a feeling….feel like in the Battlefield…and only the strong survive..which is true but in my batch of lawmates..one would always be the Queen…that our world best record holder..Your majesty..Rebecca Yuvonne..she is jus so cool..and she is a legend..she is like jurisprudence…of a question that never have the answer (mr.Amerjit)….

In the moment of thinking how she did that..and did it over again…I picked my subject…gonna do..European Union Law..so that I get a qualified degree..Company Law, because it is definitely practical…and Conflicts of Law..because it is interesting..Jurisprudence is a must…y it is a must? Again…a question that never have the answer…It is OBVIOUSLY foreseeable…I would not have much time to study…not much time to tok abt relationship…not much time to relax myself….

For all…I made an important decision..i broke up with him….a decision that I told myself I can never regret and can never forget…I strongly believe that this is the best for us....everyone was asking why? Why ? and why?...there is no reason why….the decision jus came up like that…I took into account all sort consideration…and I need him to understand..love is not everything..infact..in my perception…love is not the most fundamentals in my life..for NOW……

Someone must be cursing me by now..telling that…of what I heard about this bitch….i knew she gonna act like that…ahh…for whatever shit that every others told….i couldn’t be able to care….they own their mouth after all..but one thing that makes them sound silly is that…they don’t seem to understand the situation…they r not in a better position to judge someone else…after all…they are not as great as god….i accept what they think abt me….

They are alwsi ppl around…that try their hardcore life on..in messing ppl life up…all around the coll..all around me…I wonder..how can they get so free…in truth….I undertake obligations for myself…I undertake responsibilities…that some other may not even have bother…..my life is not like those rich princess tat can do thing on their own….because…im poor in my life…I cant lose….because I got nothing to lose….

I don’t wan to get attached to anything…because..i am tired…tired for all other bullshit that happen to me before…for whatever they are thinking…jus go ahead..and bitch abt me…but..those who understand ..will understand…try to ask urself…y r u here on earth…what impetus is ur life on? Who do u live for..and what do u live for….Im sure if u can answer these…u will realize…u actually did things that is wasting ur time, effort and money…why not try important things out first and keep the rest for ur spare time…u will feel …fell…….FULL…heart is..FULL…of what u want….

Guess what…until today…im still learning…of what my life suppose to be..and no one can understand me…including…someone who was the closest by my side….

So now…I felt miserable…because..life is jus like a jurisprudence…which will never have the answer…

 

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